Funny Horse Girl Shirt | “I Don’t Need Your Attitude, I Own a Mare” Tee | Sarcastic Equestrian Gift for Women | Barn Humor T-Shirt

From The Dog & Pony Show — where we serve barn sass, gelding facts, and a whole lot of attitude.

Introducing “I Don’t Need Your Attitude, I Own a Mare” — the shirt that speaks fluent sarcasm and fluent equestrian chaos.

Whether you’re dodging flying hooves or deciphering your mare’s emotional breakdown because the wind changed directions, this tee has your back. It’s the perfect blend of vintage vibes and barn-girl grit, screen printed on a super-soft Bella+Canvas tee that’s built to survive manure and muttered insults. Because let's face it — if you own a mare, you've already got a PhD in attitude.

Perfect for:

Mares before mares — always

Women who can handle mood swings with hooves

Barn girls who bathe in fly spray and sarcasm

Horse moms raising strong-willed mares and even stronger-willed daughters

Makes a legendary gift for equestrian divas, barn besties & sassy trainers

Product Description:

For equestrian queens who ride mares with more opinions than their exes

Features vintage pin-up style with enough sass to kick

The ultimate horse girl comeback in wearable form

Bella+Canvas comfort that holds up to barn tantrums and mare moods

Because you don’t need drama — you board it

Easy to wash after a day of dodging hooves and side-eyes

Perfect gift for boss mares and sarcastic saddle sisters

Designed for women who whisper to mares… and argue back

Hey y’all — quick note from the barn!

Every design in this shop was dreamed up right here in the chaos of my coffee-fueled, critter-filled corner of the world. I create each piece myself using a mix of Canva magic and AI mischief — all with a side of barn sass, of course.

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬

100% Airlum combed and Ring Spun Cotton

The tear-away label minimizes skin irritations

Fabric blends: Ash and Heather Prism colors - 99% cotton, 1% polyester; Heather and Solid Blend colors - 52% cotton, 48% polyester; Athletic Heather and Black Heather - 90% cotton, 10% polyester

Made in the USA

𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐞

Orders are sent to production within 24 hours of being placed

Production time is typically 2–5 business days

Standard shipping takes 4–8 business days, depending on your location. Standard Plus Delivery takes 2–5 business days

𝐒𝐢𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠

Unisex, Runs True To Size

Refer to the photographs to review size chart

For an oversized look, go for two sizes larger

𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

Machine wash on a gentle cycle and tumble dry low or air-dry

Avoid fabric softeners, bleach, and dry cleaning

Do not iron directly on the design to maintain its integrity

Stealth SEO Attack: (Because we’re professionals)

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