Funny Horse Girl Shirt | “I Don’t Need Therapy I Have Vet Bills” Tee | Sarcastic Equestrian Gift | Vintage Cowgirl Graphic T-Shirt

From The Dog & Pony Show — where we serve barn sass, gelding facts, and a whole lot of attitude.

You don’t need therapy — you have a vet on speed dial and a checking account that’s seen things. This “I Don’t Need Therapy, I Have Vet Bills” tee is for the women who spend more on equine acupuncture than their own health insurance, and wouldn’t change a damn thing about it.

Designed with vintage pin-up energy and enough grit to rival your farrier, this tee blends sass, sarcasm, and small-town strength in one ridiculously soft package. Whether you're chasing a dog through the mud or writing checks for colic meds, this shirt says what your face already does: emotionally unstable, but fully committed.

Perfect for:

Barn moms with more vet receipts than therapy sessions

Dog moms who also own a small petting zoo

Horse girls with a tattoo budget and a tack habit

Western fashion lovers with chaotic animal energy

Gag gift for that friend who cancels dinner for an emergency vet call

Product Description:

Vet bills > therapy sessions (facts only)

Retro tattoo-style art for real barn baddies

Printed on super-soft Bella+Canvas 3001

Dog moms and horse girls unite — this tee gets it

Rosie the Riveter meets barn life chaos

Ideal for women whose paycheck goes to the vet

Killer gift for sarcastic equestrians

Western vibes, vintage flair, barn sass

Hey y’all — quick note from the barn!

Every design in this shop was dreamed up right here in the chaos of my coffee-fueled, critter-filled corner of the world. I create each piece myself using a mix of Canva magic and AI mischief — all with a side of barn sass, of course.

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬

100% Airlum combed and Ring Spun Cotton

The tear-away label minimizes skin irritations

Fabric blends: Ash and Heather Prism colors - 99% cotton, 1% polyester; Heather and Solid Blend colors - 52% cotton, 48% polyester; Athletic Heather and Black Heather - 90% cotton, 10% polyester

Made in the USA

𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐞

Orders are sent to production within 24 hours of being placed

Production time is typically 2–5 business days

Standard shipping takes 4–8 business days, depending on your location. Standard Plus Delivery takes 2–5 business days

𝐒𝐢𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠

Unisex, Runs True To Size

Refer to the photographs to review size chart

For an oversized look, go for two sizes larger

𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

Machine wash on a gentle cycle and tumble dry low or air-dry

Avoid fabric softeners, bleach, and dry cleaning

Do not iron directly on the design to maintain its integrity

Stealth SEO Attack (Because we’re professionals)

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